The Skiathos Bulletin Board

skiathos lad · Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Posts: 295 Location: skiathos

i would like for the moderatoresa to consider a new forum for jokes.
heres my contribution:
he: finaly. i could not wait any more
she: do you want me to go?
he: no dont even think about it
she: do you love me?
he: lots
she: have you ever cheated on me?
he: ofcource not
she: will you kiss me?
he: definately
she: will you hit me
he: i am not that kind of boy
she: can i trust you
he: yes
she: my darling
and now please read it from the bottom up.............

Foxy · Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject:

That reminds me......I must go & watch my wedding video again. I always watch it backwards now.

I love the ending where she takes the ring off, walks back down the aisle, jumps into a car & buggers off.

holdontite · Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Posts: 21 Location: cheshire

Heh heh heh !! Laughing

Would love to comment but need the safety of anonimity - 'cos I just couldn't afford the maintenance payments!

Elle · Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:21 pm Post subject:

OK here's my contribution Skiathoslad.... probably only will be understood by those who are 'baby boomers'. Showing my age... Smile

> HITS OF THE 60'S
>
> It was fun being a baby boomer... until now. Some of the artists of the
> '60's have had or are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate
> aging baby boomers.
>
> They include:
>
> 01. Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
> 02. The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
> 03. Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
> 04. Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
> 05. Roberta Flack --- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
> 06. Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now.
> 07. Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
> 08. The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
> 09. Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
> 10. Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
> 11. Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
> 12. The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
> 13. Abba --- Denture Queen.
> 14. Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
> 15. Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
> 16. Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again
> 17. Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To.
_________________
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
- HH The Dalai Lama
--
modern folk music
http://www.cdbaby.com/all/kammmac
http://www.myspace.com/paulkammandeleanoremacdonald

SLJohn · Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject:

A man was riding his Moped along the Skiathos Ring Road when suddenly the Sky clouded above his head...
In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The man pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Volos so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is very materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.
The supports required to reach the bottom of the ocean and the concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said;
'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives;
I want to know how she really feels inside;
What she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment;
Why she cries;
What she means when she says nothing's wrong;
and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two or four lanes on that bridge?
_________________
We don't stop playing because we get old!
We get old because we stop playing!!

Foxy · Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:35 am Post subject:

I remember some religious loons stating that if you played Country & Western music backwards, it was actually incantations to the devil.

They couldn't have been more wrong. I tried listening to some C&W backwards..........I got my house back, the dog came back & my wife returned Confused

skiathos lad · Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Posts: 295 Location: skiathos

Nine words women use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Cheshire Cats · Joined: 16 Jan 2008 Posts: 128 Location: Chester UK

Our contribution.

A women returned from work one evening and found

her husband stood there with a fly swat in his hand

She asked the obvious "what are you doing"

He replied swatting flies and I have managed to kill

3 male flies and 2 female flies.

The wife asked how do you know they where male and female.

He replied because the 3 males were on the beer cans and the

2 female flies were on the telephone.
_________________
We started with nothing and we have most of it left.

Tezza · Joined: 26 Jan 2008 Posts: 237 Location: Skiathos

a blond and redhead fall of a cliff which one hits the ground first?..
the redhead as the blond got lost on the way down...

scientist in a room talking about where we can live next as the earth is burning up..first one says mars, dont be daft says another we will burn up as its to hot..ok says the next what about saturn, same reply comes back.
blond girl puts her arm up and shouts out the sun, der says the scientists we would all burn up before we got there. der replys the blond, we can go at night...

these jokes are not ment to offend the irish or people from norfolk or blonds, but if they have then b......s

Elle · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:49 pm Post subject:

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel,
did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at
it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know
where my hearing aid is."

Shocked

_________________
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
- HH The Dalai Lama
--
modern folk music
http://www.cdbaby.com/all/kammmac
http://www.myspace.com/paulkammandeleanoremacdonald

Marshall P Knutt · Joined: 02 Sep 2007 Posts: 65 Location: Hull

If were having a joke forum then i want a music forum Wink

I'll start the ball rolling with these 2 gems.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MeMS8SuHPs0&feature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iTncmc9KNWU&feature=related

Enjoy and don't be afraid to sing along now Laughing

Foxy · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject:

We used to have that Marmalade record in our house. Happy memories Very Happy

Kriandos · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject:

Elle · Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject:

Well, for Skiathos lovers....
we have a few of our own. (no, this is not really shameless self promotion)

Go to http://cdbaby.com/cd/kammac02 and click on track 8, 'Gates of the Wind'.
It's a live version of a song we wrote in 1986, after our very first visit to Skiathos - and after reading the book of the same name, by Michael Carroll (re-released in Jan or Feb under the new name of 'An island in Greece - on the shores of Skopelos').... and lots of ouzo... before we knew better! Smile

And then there's this one, written just 4 years ago...
http://cdbaby.com/cd/kammmac05 and click on track 4.
'End of the Season'.

No songs about Kathleen though... I will say though that we had a lovely Kath sighting on Skiathos in June. Smile

Two toned eyes and metal leg and all... Wink

_________________
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
- HH The Dalai Lama
--
modern folk music
http://www.cdbaby.com/all/kammmac
http://www.myspace.com/paulkammandeleanoremacdonald

Foxy · Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject:

Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy
"Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!"

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts "I'M A
LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.

"I cant work in the bloody dark! " says Murphy.