Murphy's Laws

If anything can go wrong, it will

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop

t will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

Things get worse under pressure.

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Enough research will tend to support whatever theory

Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.

In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Every solution breeds new problems.

The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.

A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to crack or break it.

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) - unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) - or into the garbage disposal while it is running.
If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.
If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver's side of your car windshield.


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"The conversion of the entire population to Islam and the extinction of every form of dissent is the ideal of the Muslim State - This is Islamic Peace"

A moderate Moslem is one who sends others blow themselves up.