Turning Off TV

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Entertainment
Monday, February 12, 2007
5-year-old TV addict gets the plug pulled

Nathan Golden, Special to the News & Record

Were it not for state regulations and the matter of practicing medicine without a license, I'm confident we could turn our home into a clinic for 5-year-old TV addicts.

Our inaugural patient has finally responded to aggressive treatment, after resisting previous attempts to end his reliance on that warm glow that even furniture arranges itself around.

Our 5-year-old's TV addiction started with a DVD from a grandparent. We were so proud he could pay attention to the entire 45-minute "Baby Einstein" DVD, even though he could barely hold his own bottle.

The first "Baby Einstein" DVD led to several more.

He never grew tired of them, although after about a year, I'd seen enough monkeys dancing to Mozart.

So, after breakfast I would set him on the couch to enjoy public broadcasting's morning lineup while I took a light nap in a chair nearby.

The TV shows became like friendly uncles who were willing to stop by and look after the little guy for a while.

But unlike some real uncles, the shows didn't curse or belch. They were patient and were even willing to teach our son a thing or two about honesty and responsibility during their 30-minute shifts.

By age 3, he didn't remember much of the Mozart, but he could hum the themes to "Bob the Builder," "Dragon Tales" and "Thomas the Tank Engine."

As he entered preschool, his tastes expanded to include "Toy Story," "Batman" and "Spiderman."

Modern superheroes suffer intense trauma as they save the world, so we paid close attention to what he was watching. We also started limiting how much he could watch.

That's when we diagnosed his addiction.

A turned-off TV would cast a spell over our son for the next hour or two. If we were lucky, the spell left him staring longingly at the blank screen.

Other times it prompted a reign of terror over his little brother similar to the havoc Lex Luthor would be wreaking on Metropolis if only the TV were on.

We tried telling him he wouldn't watch at all tomorrow if that was how he acted when the show ended.

We tried allowing him to watch only in the mornings, or only after school. We tried letting him watch only if certain chores were finished.

But most attempts to limit his TV reliance eventually led back to full-blown addiction.

So, we pulled the plug completely.

We said no every time he asked, "Can I turn on ETV?" or "Let's watch a movie."

He still asks to watch, but not as often. He isn't as likely now to collapse onto the floor when we say no.

Lately, he's even asked if he could paint, or if he could practice writing his letters.

We've noticed he knows a lot about programs he's never seen. He told me the other day that Anakin Skywalker turns into Darth Vader, though he's never seen "Star Wars."

He apparently picks up little facts from cousins and classmates, then weaves them together with narratives that make sense to him.

I'm certain he wouldn't have developed that level of imagination sitting in front of the actual shows.

I've even started to think we should throw out the TV completely, but I just don't think my imaginary version of March Madness could top the real thing. Maybe in April.

Besides, we might need the TV for the clinic's waiting room.

Nathan Golden works in desktop publishing and lives in High Point.

Family Life is a weekly column about all things parenting. Have an idea or submission? Send it to Mike Kernels, News & Record, P.O. Box 20848, Greensboro, NC 27420, or mkernels@news-record.com.